A dead... what?!

There was a dead thing on the floor.  It certainly LOOKED dead anyway---that odd limp and head skewed to the side sorta look.  And--oddly soggy.  And-hairy.  In that small rodent the cat dragged in sorta way.  Except we don't actually have a cat.  

So we looked at it some more.  And it still looked like a dead thing that no one wants to touch or even investigate too closely and you wish it would just GO AWAY.    Quickly and with out a trace.   But yet it stubbornly insisted in remaining--half in and half out of my bedroom door.  No dog would admit to the crime.  Surely one of them would have either eaten the damn thing or had the grace to look very guilty.  Not even the little white mutt with the Great Spot on her side---usually the guilty one in the pack.  She did look very thrilled to be NOT the guilty party ---this time.

She has been guilty of eating almost anything you can think of--whole hot wings on the bone.  Not chewed---just swallowed hot sauce and all.  When she was not much bigger than a good size wing herself.  Tissues.  Plastic.  The amount of plastic this dog has tried to eat----Moths.  Grass.  Phoebe!!!!!!  Stop eating that grass!!!!  Is the sound of summer around here.

But not this time.  Garbage dog was innocent---what could this MEAN? 

Finally one of us was brave enough to go and poke at it.  With a long handled grabber thingy.  Upon which time it was discovered that it was--------A.  Sock.

Yeppers one of my fave tie died socks from Famous Footwear.  The ones from the kiddie section.   The ones that the store manager tried to discourage me from buying because---I am an adult.  And that apparently means I should either A.  Not buy kid sized things for anyone or B. Not have a foot so small that only kid sized socks actually FIT it.  I had to remind the guy that I had come into his store to buy SHOES----and that the reason he got involved in the sale was I have such a hard time finding shoes to fit my Half A Foot foot.  And the plastic covered titanium foot on the other side.  He also tried to discourage me from buying socks that were NOT paired.  I had to remind him---this was getting tedious!-that the whole reason I only NEED one sock per day is---I only HAVE one foot to actually cover with said---sock.    

The one that some one who will not admit it ate and apparently didn't find appetizing and threw up---in my doorway.  And we all WALKED OVER it  to get into my room.  Don't know which part of this I find ickier.


Well we decided to have a little burial ceremony for the sock in the kitchen in a large cemetery full of other dog chewed items.  Like bags that formerly held cheese but were deemed too good to pass up when thrown in the vertical cemetery container the FIRST time by some stupid human who couldn't seem to understand just how attractive a used cheese bag could BE to a dog.  And then said dog discarded the used and now slobbered on and mangled cheese bag under the kitchen table to the delight of the baby.  Yum---doggie slobber on the baby's new very first "real" shoes---wee Nikes.  


And we covered up any lingering doggy slobber whiffiness with the amazing---shameless product plug spoiler alert here---Pumpkin Harvest FEBREEZE.  Cause we are just that kinda people.  (But it really does smell like a baking pumpkin pie----mmmmmm  pie)


Guess we are off tomorrow for another adventure in "Find The Shoe" for Mrs. Half a Foot over here.  That should be----fun!